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WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES: FROM DOORMAT TO DREAMGIRL–A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO HOLDING HER OWN IN A RELATIONSHIP
Describes why men are attracted to strong women and offers advice on ways a woman can relate to men and gain a man's love and respect.
- Release Date
- 2002
- Length
- 288 pages
- Publisher
- Simon and Schuster
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Our Review
About the book
Sherry Argov’s dating guide argues that women who are independent, self-assured and less eager to please earn more respect and interest from men than those who overextend themselves. The book is organized as a series of scenarios and rules about early dating and relationships.
Our review
Beneath the provocative title sits a basic message about self-respect, weighed down by game-playing and stereotypes.
Strip away the title and the core of Argov’s advice is reasonable: don’t abandon your own life for a new partner, don’t apologize for having standards, and don’t confuse being accommodating with being loved. For readers who have been stuck in people-pleasing relationships, the book’s breezy confidence can feel like permission. It is fast, chatty and full of short scenarios, and some of its one-line reminders stick precisely because they are so blunt.
The problem is the framework around that advice. Men appear as simple creatures to be managed, women as strategists who must hold back affection to keep interest, and relationships as a contest someone wins. That outlook leaves little room for honesty or for anyone outside a narrow heterosexual script, and much of it feels dated. We would point readers toward books that teach self-worth without the tactics.
What we loved
- A clear, energizing message about self-respect
- Quick, conversational format
- Useful pushback against people-pleasing
Keep in mind
- Relies on broad gender stereotypes
- Encourages strategic games over honest communication
Read it if you like
Fans of The Rules or Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man; others may prefer Attached or The Dance of Intimacy.
The verdict
There’s real self-respect in here, but it comes with a lot of dated gamesmanship. Keep the confidence and drop the tactics.
