The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About

Our review

A catchy mindset tool stretched across a full-length book, useful for people-pleasers and repetitive for almost everyone else.

The appeal of Robbins’s idea is its simplicity. Stop trying to control other people’s opinions, choices and moods, and put that energy into your own actions instead. For chronic over-functioners, worriers and anyone who spends too long replaying other people’s behavior, this can be a genuine relief. Robbins writes with her usual energy, and the second half of her formula, deciding what you will do next, saves the idea from turning into passive resignation.

Beyond its central insight, the book adds little. The same message is applied to scenario after scenario, with expert quotes and audience stories padding chapters that could be a page long. Much of it repackages long-standing ideas from Stoicism, Al-Anon and cognitive therapy without much new depth. It also says relatively little about situations where letting others act freely means tolerating real harm. It’s a good mantra and a thin book.